You know how people offend you and all you want to do is to pay them back maybe even more than they have hurt you. Sometimes, we claim we have forgiven them and we feel God loves you more than them because they really hurt you.
I used to work with this company sometime ago and I was transferred to this particular area I didn’t really like. I didn’t like the repetitive nature of the job, most people on this job spoke Chinese and my knowledge in Chinese is -0.00 plus everyone seemed so bossy.
It was difficult getting along with these people, I tried to be friendly but it seemed like the harder I tried the harder it was to fit in. I remember being so sad everyday at work, sometimes I go to the washroom to cry because these people were really giving me hard times and it was frustrating. Based on these experiences I decided I was going to stop playing the good girl card and pay them back in their own coin.
One morning as I was seated in the bus heading to work, I was planning out how I was going to “deal” with my colleagues, how I was going to pay them back for frustrating me. Suddenly, I heard a voice asking ”is this who are?” when I heard that I felt like cold water had been poured on me. Then I realized that I had become a very bitter, angry and sad person, and this wasn’t who I was, definitely not who I wanted to be. Also, I remembered that I always used this time to pray and commit my day to God but all that was gone because I was planning out how to pay these people back.
As I realized myself, I prayed for forgiveness and strength for the day then it dawned on me that I was focusing on the wrong things, I had forgotten to accept these people the way they are and love them regardless.
Another thing that I got awaken to was the fact that these people no matter how they hurt me or how much I hate them, they are also loved and cherished by God. Truly, they had hurt and frustrated me but God loves them still. Therefore, hating them means I was hating the creatures of God. So, I learnt to learn to love and accept them as they are and be myself at the same time. From that morning I started praying for their hearts and mine too. Things got better, we started to laugh at our jokes and worked better.
Hating or planning evil for someone who hurt you does not change the fact that God loves and cherish. Yes, they might not be believers like you or even acknowledge God, but God loves them regardless. So, rather than pay evil for evil talk to God about your feelings, he loves you too and always desires the best for you.